There Is Always A Brightside

Y’know what I’ve noticed? People have a hard time finding the good in something when it happens to them. We have no problem finding something for someone else to be grateful for, but it’s tougher when something happens to us. This afternoon, just as I was leaving for lunch, I got a parking ticket. It’s a $32 parking ticket and I still had half a day of parking left to pay for when I returned from lunch. I yelled to the guy that I was coming, but he quickly finished writing out the note, and ran. He actually ran away as I was walking towards him. Poor guy. He must’ve thought he was in some danger. It took me quite some time to shake off the “he just ran away from me” thing. I took it very personally. I was 12 minutes late getting back to my car. I figured I’d chance it and it didn’t work out in my favour. Then I texted my friend and told her i was having a hard time finding a brightside.  It’s possible I texted the wrong friend because she wanted to burn his house down for me…which is an awesome characteristic to have in a friend should you ever need someone to do that. So she couldn’t find a bright side either.

But have you ever noticed? If you’re worried about something…say you’re worried about money, or a debt you have to pay. You can spend so much time worrying about that, and forget that there are so many things to be grateful for.

Two weeks ago, I was flying to Portland to attend the World Domination Summit for the 4th time. It’s generally an easy bet that when you fly out on the first flight of the day, you’re going to get to where you’re going pretty drama free. Portland is 1 hour and 15 minutes by plane away from where I am. It took me 12 hours to get there that day. Lots of circumstances happened. The first flight of the day had mechanical issues so they couldn’t fly. They were re-booking people, but forgot to re-book me. By the time they did get to me, after I checked in with them, all the flights were sold out. They had to find me a completely different airline. They lost my bag. I had to pay for my bag twice since I was now on a new airline…I got a food voucher thanks to the kindness of the person working behind the counter, and then the security people in Seattle took my food away from me. Because..of course. It all had to happen so I could have one of the most impacting weekends of my life. While I would have completely enjoyed my breakfast date with friends when I arrived in Portland as planned, and the burrito bowl I was planning on having at Chipotle and the time I was going to spend shopping…I’m not sure that I would have appreciated it as much once I got there.

So much gets taken for granted when things just go the way we plan for them to go. It’s when they don’t go according to plan that we really get to be extraordinary humans.  In the face of all of those things, I got to know the woman who was helping me, she had my back. She was going to make sure I was getting to where I wanted to go. She even hugged me when they found my bag and wished me well on my journey. And then a little while later, because I was still laughing and joking with the person checking me on my other flight with a completely different airline…she waived my baggage fee because there was no way in “hell” she was going to let me pay for it again. Bright side. Bright side. Bright side. I got to be awesome with those people when so many aren’t, especially at airports, and they had a chance to contribute to me which is what all humans want an opportunity to do.

The next time something goes array, or doesn’t go according to plan, or you lock your keys in your car, or the power goes out, or you miss your flight, or you don’t get the job you really wanted, or you run out of gas, or you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, or your phone dies while you’re waiting at the dentist’s office, or you’re at the dentist’s office…or any other number of things happen…look for a brightside. I bet you’ll be able to find one if you look for it.

Turn it into a game. Find one. Come tell me about it. I love brightside stories. Especially when the odds are stacked against you.

Rita xo

Sticks and Stones And Words That Hurt You

be-an-encourager

I was recently “cat fished”.

In case that’s a word you’re not familiar with, according to Urban Dictionary, here is the definition: Being deceived over online profiles as the deceiver professed their romantic feelings to his/her victim, but isn’t who they say they are.

It’s a loose description. There’s a whole documentary about it. It happens. Usually to older, unsuspecting people, usually women, but I never would’ve thought that it would happen to me. I spent 2 weeks talking to this guy, he was charming and open and lovely and very handsome, mature etc. All the things you would expect. Now, I’m not an online virgin. It’s not like I don’t know the way of the world…but I got duped by this guy. Turns out, he was just out to get his rocks off without having to leave the house. For all I know, he could be a perverted 80 year old man sitting in a retirement home with a laptop and free WiFi.

It happens. I know it happens. Knowing it happens, doesn’t make it any easier when it does happen. I felt like a chump for a few days. How did I miss that? It wasn’t even as though anything major happened. I woke up 2 weeks into it with a niggling feeling I couldn’t shake. And it turns out I was right. No fireworks. No money lost. Just someone with no regard for another human.

So while my ego took a bit of a hit, do you know what was hit even harder? My heart. Knowing that there is someone in the world, someone who got into MY world, who deceives people for hours a day, every single day. How on earth did someone like that get through? How did I not see it?

Anytime something like that happens, whether it’s to me directly, or whether it’s something that happens to another, I feel it. There is nothing awesome about deceiving someone…whether it’s to deliberately cat fish someone, or whether it’s to lie or steal from them. What’s the purpose? To hurt another? Is that how you win?

I just watched a video of one of our weather reporters in Vancouver, on one of the major news networks, get attacked via an anonymous letter because she’s pregnant and the viewers think they have a right to write in and tell her what they think of the clothes she’s wearing and how they think she looks in them. They feel she should be wearing “more appropriate” maternity attire and use words that no one has the right to say to another.  Course if they were well known fashion designers they would’ve signed their names to the letters they sent.  That’s just not nice.

I read that Kathy Griffin is leaving some talk/fashion show she was one of the hosts of because she could no longer perpetuate the culture of bullying celebrities based on how they look or what they wear. While I’m not a huge fan of Kathy Griffin, I applaud her reasons for leaving the show.

And then, just a few minutes ago, I read this post about Monica Lewinsky and her TEDtalk. I saw Monica’s talk on another platform shortly before her TEDtalk in Vancouver. I was excited for her. She had an opportunity to finally face the public and share what her life has been like since she was the first person publicly shamed via the internet.  At 24, what Monica went through, no one should ever have to go through, no matter how old. She isn’t responsible for the state of affairs in America or any other country. She just did what she did when she was 24. Aren’t there things you did in your 20s you cringe thinking about now that you’re older and you know better?

I bet none of those shenanigans ended up on the internet. So this post I just read…Made me cry. Why? Because people can be so hurtful and mean. Social media has made it easier, and quite frankly, acceptable for the most part to be mean to someone online.  Teenagers are killing themselves because of cyber bullying. That is not okay.

When did we stop being awesome to each other? When did it become “normal” to be anything less than kind? Considerate? Aware of another person’s feelings?  I am always mortified by the comments left on photos/posts/youtube videos. When did things become so personal? When did it become okay to hurt someone’s feelings knowingly? Intentionally?

I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t have a solution. It breaks my heart every single day to see things like this go on. Monica Lewinsky is ever so brave for taking what happened to her, for turning her shame into something positive. Something that could potentially make a difference in the world. And yet, people still want to bring her down?

Don’t you think there’s enough of that going on in the world right now?  How about we just stop doing it? How about we go back to lifting each other up, rather than doing whatever we can to tear each other down?

Isn’t that the world you want to live in? One where your kids get to grow up knowing they are awesome? One where you get to tell your friends how awesome they are just because they are. One where you know there isn’t anything that you can’t do because you have people who have your back? A world where you get to wake up every day knowing feeling awesome because you were awesome to another?

Doesn’t THAT sound like a much better world to live in?

So can we please just stop with the mean, hurtful, horrible things and return ourselves back to loving each other?

“We talk a lot about our right to freedom of speech, but we need to talk more about our responsibility to freedom of speech.” ~ Monica Lewinsky

Rita xo

You Are Awesome. Don’t Ever Forget It.

don't ever forget it.People come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. Sometimes those lessons alter who we are and our lives forever, and sometimes, the lessons are fleeting and we move on. Either way, people come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons.

We don’t enter into our relationships knowing that. We don’t even consider it. We just enter into the relationships. Because in the moment, it feels like the right thing to do, and our hearts are pulling us towards it, and we know we want to be friends with this person, or we think we can love this person, or an inner voice is telling us to follow our hearts. So we do. Sometimes, those friendships last a lifetime, and you keep learning and growing from each other. I believe those are some of the best relationships. The one’s where both are willing to learn and grow and teach each other what there is to learn and to keep growing together. I have a friend like that. We can have an argument but we are both so committed to working it out, it doesn’t occur to either of us that we may lose each other. We won’t.  Then there are the friendships that last many years and you learn and grow together until there is nothing more for you to learn from each other. We often mourn those relationships. We try and hold onto them with everything we have, but we just need to let them go. Sometimes, the friendships are short-lived, and sometimes, that’s simply because the lesson is a quick one.

If it’s meant to be, it will be. Won’t it? If that person is meant to be in your life, won’t they be?  But we get scared. We start to hold on. Our lives will never be the same if we aren’t in each others lives. What happens if something big happens and we can’t call each other? What if…What if?

I suppose the lesson in that is that there are no guarantees in life.

When we fall in love with people, we do so willingly. We do so openly.   Some have a hard time with it. Some want it…and they long for it…but they can’t quite bring themselves to give someone else all of themselves. Offering ourselves up is too hard. We have our past holding us back. We have conversations that are 10, 15, 20 years old that tell us we are not good enough, or we’re not worthy, or we’re not reliable, or someone cheated on us, or we cheated on our partner, or we’re not good people. Everyone has some conversation running in the background of every relationship. Everyone. We just don’t always pay attention to it. I can’t say I blame us. It’s tough to wrap our heads around the fact that this thing happened in our lives, and that we’ve carried it with us since then.

You might think you’re a bad person because of something that occurred in your past.  But are you? Are you really? You live your life like you are a bad person. You find ways to convince the people in your life that you are bad and then you act accordingly. You push away the people who love you because you couldn’t possibly measure up to who you know you’d have to be for them. The jig is up. You now realize you’re in love with this person and you have nothing to offer them. You are so focused on the fact that you did something bad once…Or you hurt someone once…so you keep on hurting people to perpetuate the background conversation. You leave destruction, and a trail of broken hearts behind you, but you’re unwilling to do what it takes to deal with, confront, or face whatever your demon is. So…you move on. You disappear from the lives of those who love you. Only to do it again. Somewhere else. All the while, losing sleep over who you think you are.

Meanwhile, the people on the receiving end? What happens to those people? What happens to the people in the path? The one’s who are stuck under the rubble?

They start to question who they are. They start to wonder what THEY did wrong. How is it possible that love simply wasn’t enough? But love is supposed to be enough. Love is always supposed to be enough.

And sometimes…it’s just not.

What happens to the people on the receiving end? We start to question our own goodness. Our ability to love the people in our lives. Are we really as fabulous as we claim to be? Am I really that good a person? This person who I thought i knew isn’t who I thought they were…what does that say about me? How did I not see it? I should’ve listened when they told me they were bad person. I should’ve heard them. I should’ve asked why. I should’ve paid attention.  I should’ve been able to make a difference. I should’ve known better. I should’ve been smarter.

We should ourselves to death. We think that by asking the questions and going over all the “should’s” we’ll have the answer to the “what happened”.

Until someone we know says something in a one minute conversation that we may not have heard at any other time and makes a difference. We DID make a difference. That bad thing that they did in their past…they never did that with you. They never behaved that certain way. They never said that certain thing. Yes. They may have broken your heart on the way down. In fact, it may even appear like they broke your entire life. But when you look yourself in the mirror every day…give yourself a kiss. Or at the very least, a high-five. You deserve it. You loved someone who didn’t think they were worthy. You loved someone more than you ever could’ve imagined doing. You gave someone the benefit of the doubt. You trusted someone with your whole life. You trusted them with your heart.

Not everyone in the world is willing to do that. Not everyone believes the world is good. Not everyone believes that everyone has an ulterior motive.  That someone is always out to get you. That you have to watch your back. It takes a very special kind of person to live a life believing in everything. All the time.

While at times, it can be heart wrenching to imagine that bad things can happen to good people…they can. And they do.

The real strength, which is something I’m only just getting (hence my almost year long hiatus), is that no matter what happens…I’m always awesome. And nobody gets to make me forget that. No matter what.

People come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. We may not see it right away, but always.

You. Are. Awesome. Don’t ever forget it.

Ever.  No one gets to take that away from you.

No. one.

~ Rita

We Are Not Our Failures (WDS2013 recap)

everything in moderation

Showing up at the World Domination Summit this year was a tough call for me. Although I went last year and had the most amazing and life altering experience, and bought my ticket right there on the spot when we were given the opportunity, how things rolled out wasn’t exactly how I would’ve thought they would’ve rolled out. Funny how life keeps handing us circumstances and we have to keep dealing with them. Or we don’t. I suppose all of life is a choice isn’t it?  I had enough circumstances in my life over the past couple of months that technically, I could’ve gotten away with not going. I could’ve just cancelled the hotel, and lost the price of the ticket, and not gone. Especially since the circumstances just kept piling up.

What kind of circumstances? Well. The things that happen in life. We roll along, everything’s good, and then BAM! We get hit in the face with unexpected things that happen in life. In my case, the first of many circumstances was the unexpected ending of my relationship. That was just the first in a series of things that have happened over the past couple of months. I walked into WDS heartbroken on so many levels. So. Many. Levels. It’s been a very very long time since I’ve been this unhappy for this long a stretch of time.

So far, all the blog posts and tweets and Facebook status updates have all pointed to “WDS is about the people.” I would have to second that. It really is about the people. There is a level of conversation that happens in a few minutes with strangers that doesn’t happen in everyday life.  We are all there to get connected.  To bond and fall in love with all of those like minded individuals who make us grateful to be alive.

We learned about how to be happy, and how to dream bigger, how to speak with confidence, and let go of fear. We heard people talk about meet ups and catch ups and all kinds of ups. I saw people crying in corners because they were so moved by the experience, and other times I saw people crying because they weren’t sure they belonged here…to this tribe of people. I say, if you were there, you belonged.

I didn’t think I belonged at the weekend either. I had a lot of thoughts about skipping out of it.  Staying in my hotel room until it was all over.

Walking into the weekend,  I felt like a failure.

Throughout the course of the weekend, I cried a few tears. Had a lot of conversations. Was moved by so many of the speakers. Especially Jia Jiang who spoke about 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. How unbelievably awesome of him to go out into the world and try and get rejected as a way of working through his fear of rejection. So many of us, including me, see rejection as a failure.

We don’t get the job we want.

We failed.

We don’t get the girl/guy we want.

We failed.

We don’t get (fill in the blank).

We failed.

And then, Donald Miller took the stage and put this slide up on the screen.

we are not our failures

What if he’s right? What if we are not our failures? What if what we are is simply extraordinary people doing extraordinary things? What then? What if feeling like a failure is a whole lot different than actually BEING a failure?

He shared about a relationship he had that he royally effed up…you could tell, he has regret. Remorse about how it went. But he did the work. He did what he needed to do and only a week before he gave this talk, got engaged to his lady.  I needed to hear his words. I needed to know that what’s going on with me, isn’t something that is personal to me. It’s more common than we think.

Yes, there are a lot of people who think that they can’t go to the conference until they quit their day jobs. Or until they find their passion. Or until they start traveling or whatever their reason is. None of that is true. I haven’t quit my day job. I’m not some social media expert. Sure, I blog. A lot. But I’m not expert at much of anything. Except life. I have a commitment to put an end to bullying. I don’t know how. But I do know that bullying has got to stop. That’s what I’m working towards. A world where people express love more than anything else. Freely. Without judgement. Whether that expression is in their art, their work, or their words. It doesn’t matter. I just want there to be more love in the world.

Even if it means I’ll end up heartbroken more often.

I think it’s safe to say that WDS is the epitome of awesome. Some of the best people in the world coming together to facilitate making the world a better place. A Conference for Good, if you will.

And one very powerful takeaway? That every single person in that auditorium wanted me to win. No matter what I said, or did, they would’ve cheered for me, even if they didn’t know me. Because that is who these people are. I spend a lot of time in my life believing in others. Making sure that the people in my life know that there is nothing they can’t succeed at because I believe in them. Well, I have to tell you, this was my very first time being fully present to the experience of that for myself. And for each and every single person in that room.

At WDS, you can’t fail. It’s not even a possibility.

And what’s beautiful, is once we leave Portland and come home…all over the world…it’s up to us to keep that magic alive.

And THAT is where we get to own our awesome.

I walked into WDS2013 questioning the goodness in the world. Wondering if I was wrong in where I was standing for the world to be a better place and that there is a lot of love when you look for it. I walked into the weekend wondering if the cynics in my life were right. Maybe the world is full of people who are just out to get you. Maybe nothing does come for free. Maybe, people really are the opposite of good.

And then…I spent the weekend with enough people to remind me that my view of the world is MY creation and yes, although there are people who may not want to be responsible for hurting others, or people who may hurt us…it doesn’t change the fact that if you allow yourself to see it, the world is filled with richness, goodness and wonder.

I don’t think I have enough words to capture, how grateful I am to have my faith in the world, restored.

go forth and dominate the world through good things.

rita

Our Greatest Weakness Could Be Our Biggest Strength

awesome takes practice

“If you’re not scared, you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?”

This past weekend, I spent a lot of time thinking about what kinds of things make us cool. What does being cool even really mean?  Is it cool that I had plans on Friday night? Is it less cool that those plans included sweats, a hoodie, a big mug of tea and some girlie chatting with a friend? Does that suddenly make me “lame” in the eyes of all those who did something “cool” on Friday night?

Is it cool that I love movies where lots of things get blown up and there are car chases and such? I saw Olympus as Fallen on Saturday with my man, and I was completely enthralled by it. In the wake of the horrible world events this past week, it may not have been the most appropriate film for me to see, but you know what? I loved it. Does that mean I’m cool? Or does it mean I’m less sensitive to the plight of all those people impacted by the events of the past week which then makes me a horrible person? Or, does it just mean I went to a movie on Saturday and I really liked it?

Being cool can also mean being “macho”…keeping your cool, not letting others see you sweat. If you’re nervous, don’t let anyone know. Try to stop sweating, if you’re one of those people who sweats when you get nervous. If you’re scared, oh Lord..make sure no one can see your bottom lip trembling, or your hands shaking. Does it mean I’m not cool if I’m trembling and shaking? Or does it simply mean I’m scared?

Being cool, also means being stingy with our feelings.  Expressing how we feel can sometimes be an uncomfortable thing. What if we’re rejected?  What if the object of our expression laughs in our faces? That is so not cool.  It’s far cooler to let the people in your life express to YOU how they feel about you. That’s gotta feel good right? That’s gotta make you feel awesome. Yes? Well…imagine you’re that person. The one who is constantly sharing with you, how they experience you, through their eyes and heart. How amazing you are, and how grateful they are to have met you, and that they love you.

Only to have you not acknowledge their expression. Or their words. Is it cool to simply ignore what they are saying and say something totally random instead? Or better still, to complain about something that might be wrong? It’s much cooler, isn’t it, to talk about how tired you are, or how much pain you’re in from one thing or another. Than to genuinely and generously accept what your loved one’s are sharing with you, what they want you to know. The heartfelt words they choose to share, because sharing makes a difference in the relationships in your life, and because the words, come straight from their hearts. While you sit, perhaps uncomfortably, not knowing what to say…so you say nothing.

That my friends, is one of those things that anyone can do. Anyone can be cool, and aloof and stand -offish in regards to their feelings and/or expressing them. If you were to ask, you might even find that the majority of the population live their lives like that every day.

So. Now. Let me ask you this. Do you think that if you were to actually hear what the other person was saying, and respond appropriately…that it might make all the difference to your relationship with them? Do you think it’s possible that it might even make your relationship better? Or bring you closer? What if it were the very thing to make the world a better place? What if the kinder you were to the people in your life, the more you shared how important they were to you, or the more you were willing to be vulnerable with the people in your life, by sharing your love, the love that’s in your heart anyway, can you see that it would have a huge impact on how the world works?

Imagine the butterfly effect that would have on other people in the world?

You may think I’m talkin’ smack, but you have no way of knowing if what I say isn’t true. Maybe being cool isn’t what’s cool anymore. Maybe being willing to be vulnerable, being willing to share and express your feelings towards your fellow human beings, is just the thing this world needs to work a little bit better.

And do you know what that is?

That right there…is what I’d call…Awesome.

So go. Share. Tell someone you love them. See how their face lights up.

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while they’re alive.” ~ Optimus Prime

Regrets Are Not Awesome, But You Are.

note to selfEver do something you regret?

Ever have that experience where you’ve done something and you feel like you failed so badly, something that got so messy you may NEVER ever want to do it again?

Ever tell yourself that you suck?

Doing something you regret doesn’t make you any less awesome. You just did something that you regret.

You didn’t fail at anything. You did something and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.  Or it got really messy. A relationship ended and it tore you up inside. Or you tore up another. You had a conversation with someone that didn’t go as intended. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t mean to. But you did. Is there anything worse than hurting someone’s feelings? Yep. There sure is. Having someone be disappointed in you. I die a little bit inside each time that happens.

How often do you tell yourself you suck for something you did? Something that really just shows you you’re human. That you have weaknesses just like everybody else?  Sometimes we do things so we are forced to confront just how human we are. I don’t know about you, but I like to spend much of my life making sure I never look bad, that no one is ever disappointed in me, that every conversation I have is a good one, that I never hurt anyone’s feelings…What I have learned along the way is that it’s not possible.

Sometimes, I make bad choices. Sometimes. I do something that goes against everything I am. And it doesn’t take away from my own awesome. It just means that I am aware of my humanness. My vulnerabilities. Ugh. How much do we dislike that “v” word?

I had a friend call me yesterday, and I suggested that perhaps it’s been a very long time since he’s been excited or ALIVE about anything. He was quick to agree. So, I gave him some homework. Some awesome homework. I told him to go and do something bad** every single day for the next 3 weeks.  Today, he had a 5 minute cold shower. Yep. I think he’s got the hang of it. He hasn’t been being his awesome self for many months, and he knows it. And he seized an opportunity to be that. THAT is awesome.

Sometimes, we over think things. Sometimes, we think about them so much we don’t do them. Sometimes, we think about them so much that we DO them and then we regret doing them.

Just remember..every single thing you do in life, adds to your level of awesome.

The real question here is: wouldn’t you rather be doing things that will alter your experience of life? Wouldn’t you rather do things that make you happy to be alive?

Do you wanna die happy?

Or do you wanna die wondering? Wishing? Hoping? Regretting?

I bet I know what you’ll say…

Go. Be awesome.

Rita

PS You may regret the thing you did. But it will force you to confront that part of yourself that you’ve never looked at before. It’ll shine a light in a corner of who you are where there’s never been light before. So, before you try and shake shake shake that memory like you would an etch-a-sketch, just remember, you can choose to learn from the experience, or you can stick your head in the sand. Either way…it already happened.

 

Doubt is Not Awesome, But YOU Are.

Awesome is a choice

Ever have one of those days, where you’re doubting everything that you do? Any decision you make, you think might have been the wrong one?

That no matter what you do, it’ll never be the right thing?  That no matter what you say, it’ll never be the right thing to say?

To be honest, I’d be surprised if you weren’t nodding in agreement or recognition of what I’m saying so far.

The beautiful thing about being a human being is that no matter what colour or race we are, doubt is something we have in common. It’s a Universal truth among us. We doubt the people in our lives. We doubt experiences. We doubt words. We doubt actions. And most importantly, we doubt ourselves.

You know what’s really great about doubt? It only takes mere seconds to be done with it.

Doubt means you’re trying something new and you don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Doubt means you’re afraid that you’re going to eff things up. And you might. But it doesn’t matter, because you had the courage to give it a shot.

Feel free to feel doubt. There isn’t a cure for doubt. There’s simply doubt. And on the flip side of doubt is not doubt. I’m not sure what it is. Confidence? Surety? Certainty?

Maybe being confident, sure and certain about everything you do in life, makes it just a little bit less challenging? Or exciting? Maybe when you’re actually feeling doubt, it just brings you one step closer to the life you want to have.

It could be anything. From going bungy jumping naked (which a friend of mine just did yesterday!) to taking a trip you’ve only dreamed of…or maybe the thing you doubt is whether you have what it takes to be in a relationship with another human being.

Doubt just means you’re literally, one thought away from being awesome.

Maybe it’s true what they say? Maybe certainty is a ridiculous notion? Maybe if you already know how something is going to turn out, unless it’s a souffle, it’s not as mind blowing when you do it.

Go. Be. Awesome.

Rita

Be Awesome

How?

How do you be awesome?

You just be it.

There’s no secret formula. There’s no rule book. There’s not even a website or a fan page.

You just be awesome.

Here’s the thing that we don’t all get.

Being awesome is a choice. It’s about being kind and considerate and compassionate, and generous (with your time, love etc.). Being awesome is about putting good things into the world, because good things bring good things.

Being awesome is about being bold, and daring and courageous and kick a**.

Being awesome is about doing things others would only think about doing, doing what you say you’re going to do, even when you don’t feel like it.

Being awesome is easy.

my daily routineAll you have to do is get out of bed.

Smile at a few strangers.

Be nice to the person who makes your coffee/tea in the morning.

Pay a compliment to someone, and mean it.

Ask someone for a hug. Just because.

Pay attention to the little things in life that bring you joy. Life is made up of a whole lot of little things. If we find joy in those, we can’t help but enjoy the hell out of life.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned thus far, is that if you love life, life will love you back.

No question.

Being awesome is easy.

Just be.

Rita xo

go.be.awesome

 

There Is Nothing Awesome About…

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Do you have relationships in your life where you leave feeling really great about yourself? You do, don’t you? Aren’t all relationships supposed to be like that? You get together and you feel really great about yourself, and each other.  You lift each other up.  And cheer each other on. You warm each other’s souls. You nourish each other. You know who each other is.

It doesn’t matter if you know their favorite colour, or where they were born, although there’s magic in that too. I’m talking about the real “know you”. They know who you are in the world. What you stand for. What matters to you. What makes you tick. What moves you, what touches you. How you’re inspired. They know all that. You’d think that it would be easy to know who someone is. Wouldn’t you?  People are generally easy to know.

But what do you do when you find someone who matters to you, but doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get what matters to you. Who you really are. That you’re not generous to make yourself look better. You’re generous because you want people to have a great life. There’s something about that. It’s really important to know that you’re appreciated for who you are. That who you are is why they love you. Why they want to be in your life. They want to be in your life because of how awesome you are.

There’s nothing sexy about keeping people in your life who don’t get you. Who don’t appreciate who you are. I know we all have them. We all have people in our lives who have been there for years and you have a lot of history, but they don’t always want to know who you’ve evolved into, if it doesn’t fit who they want you to be.  We’ve all had some form or another of that experience haven’t we?

Here’s the thing. We start to tolerate things that actually don’t work. The things that make us feel so much less than awesome. We start to step over things that hurt us, and we start to feel resentful. Resentment is a bitter pill. Resentment can literally, kill us. It hurts our hearts. It damages our souls. It makes our relationships harder. Getting to a place of realizing that the things that aren’t working are the things you’re tolerating. All the things that makes you awesome, suddenly start to slip away. Suddenly, the things that people admire most about you, or the things that inspire others, about you, are the things that start to disappear.  We start to try and prove who we are, which just begets more resentment.  And if we let that happen, in our primary relationships, we start to lose ourselves. It becomes increasingly more difficult to remember the things that matter, because all of our energy goes into proving something that should be obvious.

Do you know what I’m trying to say? We stay in relationships with people who don’t get who we are.

Which is worse than someone telling you they didn’t get you something for Christmas because they didn’t think of it.

It’s worse than swallowing a bunch of pills hoping someone else will die from it.  It’s too important.

Stop making it okay. Stop stepping over those things. Stop it. Stop taking the pills.

By stopping all of that, you can stop resentment in it’s tracks. Yes. It might be disappointing. It might also, make you really sad. You may even end up heart broken, but at the end of the day, heartbreak brought on by standing for who you are is a lot easier to deal with than heartbreak brought on by someone who will never appreciate what you contribute to the world.

Y’know?

xo

Rita

Do You Know What Makes You Awesome?

Ever wonder what it is that makes you awesome?

When someone says “Hey..you’re awesome!” Do you ever wonder how they know that?  How they could possibly know that you’re awesome, without really knowing you?

Or maybe you’ve done something nice for someone, and how they thank you is by telling you that they think you’re awesome.

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Some might say that the word is overused so has lost it’s power. I say it isn’t used nearly enough! If everyone in the world knew they were awesome, I’d tell you the word was now being overused. Until then…

It isn’t like there’s a guide book where you can look under the tab that says “when someone thinks you’re awesome” to tell you why you are. So you can be crystal clear about it.

It’s tough for us to believe someone when they say something like that to us. Awesome? You think I’m awesome? Me? Really?

Well let me tell you a little bit about what makes you awesome.

1.  It’s your willingness to thank someone, even if you don’t believe them, when they say something nice about you, to you.

2.  When you hear about a challenge, one that makes you a little bit nauseous, you do it even though you’re scared. Because that’s who you are. You’re all about jumping outside of your comfort zone. You may crawl back to it every now and again, ’cause life sure can be a little bit scary at times, but you’ll always venture back out to take on something new.

3.  You are always willing to learn something new, about yourself, or the world you live in. You’re curious, you ask questions and you’re willing to look. Even if sometimes, it’s uncomfortable.

4.  You are constantly doing what you said you’d do. Even if you just said it to yourself.  You keep promises whenever possible. You will do your best to never let anyone down, and if that does happen, you’ll be sure to be responsible for it. You call when you say you will. You show up when you say you will. You go when you say you will, even if you don’t want to.

5.  You are willing to look foolish/stupid/crazy. You are so willing to try new things, even things you know you can’t do, and are willing to risk looking foolish. It takes a special kind of person to be okay with not looking good.  Whether it be by falling in love (again), or quitting your job and not knowing what you’ll do next, or taking on a challenge that you are pretty sure you can’t finish. The glory isn’t in the finishing. It’s in the willingness to try.

6.  You have a desire to make a difference in the world, in your life, and/or in the lives of the people in your life.

7.  You know that the best way to have your life rock, is by making yourself a priority, your first priority. Taking care of yourself, means you have more room to take care of others, which is the path to having your relationships work. It doesn’t matter that you think it’s selfish. It kind of is.  It’s the best kind of selfish there is. When YOU start to put yourself first, others will follow in your footsteps. It’s a win/win.

8.  Believing in the dreams of others, cheering them on, making sure they know they are not alone, and that they CAN do anything, is a super power of the awesome.

9.  Love. Love is another super power of the awesome.

10. You know that being awesome, simply means that those around you, those you come into contact with, they get to own their awesome too.

No then…go forth and be awesome.

Rita xo

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