You Are Awesome. Don’t Ever Forget It.

don't ever forget it.People come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. Sometimes those lessons alter who we are and our lives forever, and sometimes, the lessons are fleeting and we move on. Either way, people come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons.

We don’t enter into our relationships knowing that. We don’t even consider it. We just enter into the relationships. Because in the moment, it feels like the right thing to do, and our hearts are pulling us towards it, and we know we want to be friends with this person, or we think we can love this person, or an inner voice is telling us to follow our hearts. So we do. Sometimes, those friendships last a lifetime, and you keep learning and growing from each other. I believe those are some of the best relationships. The one’s where both are willing to learn and grow and teach each other what there is to learn and to keep growing together. I have a friend like that. We can have an argument but we are both so committed to working it out, it doesn’t occur to either of us that we may lose each other. We won’t.  Then there are the friendships that last many years and you learn and grow together until there is nothing more for you to learn from each other. We often mourn those relationships. We try and hold onto them with everything we have, but we just need to let them go. Sometimes, the friendships are short-lived, and sometimes, that’s simply because the lesson is a quick one.

If it’s meant to be, it will be. Won’t it? If that person is meant to be in your life, won’t they be?  But we get scared. We start to hold on. Our lives will never be the same if we aren’t in each others lives. What happens if something big happens and we can’t call each other? What if…What if?

I suppose the lesson in that is that there are no guarantees in life.

When we fall in love with people, we do so willingly. We do so openly.   Some have a hard time with it. Some want it…and they long for it…but they can’t quite bring themselves to give someone else all of themselves. Offering ourselves up is too hard. We have our past holding us back. We have conversations that are 10, 15, 20 years old that tell us we are not good enough, or we’re not worthy, or we’re not reliable, or someone cheated on us, or we cheated on our partner, or we’re not good people. Everyone has some conversation running in the background of every relationship. Everyone. We just don’t always pay attention to it. I can’t say I blame us. It’s tough to wrap our heads around the fact that this thing happened in our lives, and that we’ve carried it with us since then.

You might think you’re a bad person because of something that occurred in your past.  But are you? Are you really? You live your life like you are a bad person. You find ways to convince the people in your life that you are bad and then you act accordingly. You push away the people who love you because you couldn’t possibly measure up to who you know you’d have to be for them. The jig is up. You now realize you’re in love with this person and you have nothing to offer them. You are so focused on the fact that you did something bad once…Or you hurt someone once…so you keep on hurting people to perpetuate the background conversation. You leave destruction, and a trail of broken hearts behind you, but you’re unwilling to do what it takes to deal with, confront, or face whatever your demon is. So…you move on. You disappear from the lives of those who love you. Only to do it again. Somewhere else. All the while, losing sleep over who you think you are.

Meanwhile, the people on the receiving end? What happens to those people? What happens to the people in the path? The one’s who are stuck under the rubble?

They start to question who they are. They start to wonder what THEY did wrong. How is it possible that love simply wasn’t enough? But love is supposed to be enough. Love is always supposed to be enough.

And sometimes…it’s just not.

What happens to the people on the receiving end? We start to question our own goodness. Our ability to love the people in our lives. Are we really as fabulous as we claim to be? Am I really that good a person? This person who I thought i knew isn’t who I thought they were…what does that say about me? How did I not see it? I should’ve listened when they told me they were bad person. I should’ve heard them. I should’ve asked why. I should’ve paid attention.  I should’ve been able to make a difference. I should’ve known better. I should’ve been smarter.

We should ourselves to death. We think that by asking the questions and going over all the “should’s” we’ll have the answer to the “what happened”.

Until someone we know says something in a one minute conversation that we may not have heard at any other time and makes a difference. We DID make a difference. That bad thing that they did in their past…they never did that with you. They never behaved that certain way. They never said that certain thing. Yes. They may have broken your heart on the way down. In fact, it may even appear like they broke your entire life. But when you look yourself in the mirror every day…give yourself a kiss. Or at the very least, a high-five. You deserve it. You loved someone who didn’t think they were worthy. You loved someone more than you ever could’ve imagined doing. You gave someone the benefit of the doubt. You trusted someone with your whole life. You trusted them with your heart.

Not everyone in the world is willing to do that. Not everyone believes the world is good. Not everyone believes that everyone has an ulterior motive.  That someone is always out to get you. That you have to watch your back. It takes a very special kind of person to live a life believing in everything. All the time.

While at times, it can be heart wrenching to imagine that bad things can happen to good people…they can. And they do.

The real strength, which is something I’m only just getting (hence my almost year long hiatus), is that no matter what happens…I’m always awesome. And nobody gets to make me forget that. No matter what.

People come into our lives to teach us valuable lessons. We may not see it right away, but always.

You. Are. Awesome. Don’t ever forget it.

Ever.  No one gets to take that away from you.

No. one.

~ Rita

We Are Not Our Failures (WDS2013 recap)

everything in moderation

Showing up at the World Domination Summit this year was a tough call for me. Although I went last year and had the most amazing and life altering experience, and bought my ticket right there on the spot when we were given the opportunity, how things rolled out wasn’t exactly how I would’ve thought they would’ve rolled out. Funny how life keeps handing us circumstances and we have to keep dealing with them. Or we don’t. I suppose all of life is a choice isn’t it?  I had enough circumstances in my life over the past couple of months that technically, I could’ve gotten away with not going. I could’ve just cancelled the hotel, and lost the price of the ticket, and not gone. Especially since the circumstances just kept piling up.

What kind of circumstances? Well. The things that happen in life. We roll along, everything’s good, and then BAM! We get hit in the face with unexpected things that happen in life. In my case, the first of many circumstances was the unexpected ending of my relationship. That was just the first in a series of things that have happened over the past couple of months. I walked into WDS heartbroken on so many levels. So. Many. Levels. It’s been a very very long time since I’ve been this unhappy for this long a stretch of time.

So far, all the blog posts and tweets and Facebook status updates have all pointed to “WDS is about the people.” I would have to second that. It really is about the people. There is a level of conversation that happens in a few minutes with strangers that doesn’t happen in everyday life.  We are all there to get connected.  To bond and fall in love with all of those like minded individuals who make us grateful to be alive.

We learned about how to be happy, and how to dream bigger, how to speak with confidence, and let go of fear. We heard people talk about meet ups and catch ups and all kinds of ups. I saw people crying in corners because they were so moved by the experience, and other times I saw people crying because they weren’t sure they belonged here…to this tribe of people. I say, if you were there, you belonged.

I didn’t think I belonged at the weekend either. I had a lot of thoughts about skipping out of it.  Staying in my hotel room until it was all over.

Walking into the weekend,  I felt like a failure.

Throughout the course of the weekend, I cried a few tears. Had a lot of conversations. Was moved by so many of the speakers. Especially Jia Jiang who spoke about 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. How unbelievably awesome of him to go out into the world and try and get rejected as a way of working through his fear of rejection. So many of us, including me, see rejection as a failure.

We don’t get the job we want.

We failed.

We don’t get the girl/guy we want.

We failed.

We don’t get (fill in the blank).

We failed.

And then, Donald Miller took the stage and put this slide up on the screen.

we are not our failures

What if he’s right? What if we are not our failures? What if what we are is simply extraordinary people doing extraordinary things? What then? What if feeling like a failure is a whole lot different than actually BEING a failure?

He shared about a relationship he had that he royally effed up…you could tell, he has regret. Remorse about how it went. But he did the work. He did what he needed to do and only a week before he gave this talk, got engaged to his lady.  I needed to hear his words. I needed to know that what’s going on with me, isn’t something that is personal to me. It’s more common than we think.

Yes, there are a lot of people who think that they can’t go to the conference until they quit their day jobs. Or until they find their passion. Or until they start traveling or whatever their reason is. None of that is true. I haven’t quit my day job. I’m not some social media expert. Sure, I blog. A lot. But I’m not expert at much of anything. Except life. I have a commitment to put an end to bullying. I don’t know how. But I do know that bullying has got to stop. That’s what I’m working towards. A world where people express love more than anything else. Freely. Without judgement. Whether that expression is in their art, their work, or their words. It doesn’t matter. I just want there to be more love in the world.

Even if it means I’ll end up heartbroken more often.

I think it’s safe to say that WDS is the epitome of awesome. Some of the best people in the world coming together to facilitate making the world a better place. A Conference for Good, if you will.

And one very powerful takeaway? That every single person in that auditorium wanted me to win. No matter what I said, or did, they would’ve cheered for me, even if they didn’t know me. Because that is who these people are. I spend a lot of time in my life believing in others. Making sure that the people in my life know that there is nothing they can’t succeed at because I believe in them. Well, I have to tell you, this was my very first time being fully present to the experience of that for myself. And for each and every single person in that room.

At WDS, you can’t fail. It’s not even a possibility.

And what’s beautiful, is once we leave Portland and come home…all over the world…it’s up to us to keep that magic alive.

And THAT is where we get to own our awesome.

I walked into WDS2013 questioning the goodness in the world. Wondering if I was wrong in where I was standing for the world to be a better place and that there is a lot of love when you look for it. I walked into the weekend wondering if the cynics in my life were right. Maybe the world is full of people who are just out to get you. Maybe nothing does come for free. Maybe, people really are the opposite of good.

And then…I spent the weekend with enough people to remind me that my view of the world is MY creation and yes, although there are people who may not want to be responsible for hurting others, or people who may hurt us…it doesn’t change the fact that if you allow yourself to see it, the world is filled with richness, goodness and wonder.

I don’t think I have enough words to capture, how grateful I am to have my faith in the world, restored.

go forth and dominate the world through good things.

rita

Our Greatest Weakness Could Be Our Biggest Strength

awesome takes practice

“If you’re not scared, you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?”

This past weekend, I spent a lot of time thinking about what kinds of things make us cool. What does being cool even really mean?  Is it cool that I had plans on Friday night? Is it less cool that those plans included sweats, a hoodie, a big mug of tea and some girlie chatting with a friend? Does that suddenly make me “lame” in the eyes of all those who did something “cool” on Friday night?

Is it cool that I love movies where lots of things get blown up and there are car chases and such? I saw Olympus as Fallen on Saturday with my man, and I was completely enthralled by it. In the wake of the horrible world events this past week, it may not have been the most appropriate film for me to see, but you know what? I loved it. Does that mean I’m cool? Or does it mean I’m less sensitive to the plight of all those people impacted by the events of the past week which then makes me a horrible person? Or, does it just mean I went to a movie on Saturday and I really liked it?

Being cool can also mean being “macho”…keeping your cool, not letting others see you sweat. If you’re nervous, don’t let anyone know. Try to stop sweating, if you’re one of those people who sweats when you get nervous. If you’re scared, oh Lord..make sure no one can see your bottom lip trembling, or your hands shaking. Does it mean I’m not cool if I’m trembling and shaking? Or does it simply mean I’m scared?

Being cool, also means being stingy with our feelings.  Expressing how we feel can sometimes be an uncomfortable thing. What if we’re rejected?  What if the object of our expression laughs in our faces? That is so not cool.  It’s far cooler to let the people in your life express to YOU how they feel about you. That’s gotta feel good right? That’s gotta make you feel awesome. Yes? Well…imagine you’re that person. The one who is constantly sharing with you, how they experience you, through their eyes and heart. How amazing you are, and how grateful they are to have met you, and that they love you.

Only to have you not acknowledge their expression. Or their words. Is it cool to simply ignore what they are saying and say something totally random instead? Or better still, to complain about something that might be wrong? It’s much cooler, isn’t it, to talk about how tired you are, or how much pain you’re in from one thing or another. Than to genuinely and generously accept what your loved one’s are sharing with you, what they want you to know. The heartfelt words they choose to share, because sharing makes a difference in the relationships in your life, and because the words, come straight from their hearts. While you sit, perhaps uncomfortably, not knowing what to say…so you say nothing.

That my friends, is one of those things that anyone can do. Anyone can be cool, and aloof and stand -offish in regards to their feelings and/or expressing them. If you were to ask, you might even find that the majority of the population live their lives like that every day.

So. Now. Let me ask you this. Do you think that if you were to actually hear what the other person was saying, and respond appropriately…that it might make all the difference to your relationship with them? Do you think it’s possible that it might even make your relationship better? Or bring you closer? What if it were the very thing to make the world a better place? What if the kinder you were to the people in your life, the more you shared how important they were to you, or the more you were willing to be vulnerable with the people in your life, by sharing your love, the love that’s in your heart anyway, can you see that it would have a huge impact on how the world works?

Imagine the butterfly effect that would have on other people in the world?

You may think I’m talkin’ smack, but you have no way of knowing if what I say isn’t true. Maybe being cool isn’t what’s cool anymore. Maybe being willing to be vulnerable, being willing to share and express your feelings towards your fellow human beings, is just the thing this world needs to work a little bit better.

And do you know what that is?

That right there…is what I’d call…Awesome.

So go. Share. Tell someone you love them. See how their face lights up.

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while they’re alive.” ~ Optimus Prime

Regrets Are Not Awesome, But You Are.

note to selfEver do something you regret?

Ever have that experience where you’ve done something and you feel like you failed so badly, something that got so messy you may NEVER ever want to do it again?

Ever tell yourself that you suck?

Doing something you regret doesn’t make you any less awesome. You just did something that you regret.

You didn’t fail at anything. You did something and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.  Or it got really messy. A relationship ended and it tore you up inside. Or you tore up another. You had a conversation with someone that didn’t go as intended. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t mean to. But you did. Is there anything worse than hurting someone’s feelings? Yep. There sure is. Having someone be disappointed in you. I die a little bit inside each time that happens.

How often do you tell yourself you suck for something you did? Something that really just shows you you’re human. That you have weaknesses just like everybody else?  Sometimes we do things so we are forced to confront just how human we are. I don’t know about you, but I like to spend much of my life making sure I never look bad, that no one is ever disappointed in me, that every conversation I have is a good one, that I never hurt anyone’s feelings…What I have learned along the way is that it’s not possible.

Sometimes, I make bad choices. Sometimes. I do something that goes against everything I am. And it doesn’t take away from my own awesome. It just means that I am aware of my humanness. My vulnerabilities. Ugh. How much do we dislike that “v” word?

I had a friend call me yesterday, and I suggested that perhaps it’s been a very long time since he’s been excited or ALIVE about anything. He was quick to agree. So, I gave him some homework. Some awesome homework. I told him to go and do something bad** every single day for the next 3 weeks.  Today, he had a 5 minute cold shower. Yep. I think he’s got the hang of it. He hasn’t been being his awesome self for many months, and he knows it. And he seized an opportunity to be that. THAT is awesome.

Sometimes, we over think things. Sometimes, we think about them so much we don’t do them. Sometimes, we think about them so much that we DO them and then we regret doing them.

Just remember..every single thing you do in life, adds to your level of awesome.

The real question here is: wouldn’t you rather be doing things that will alter your experience of life? Wouldn’t you rather do things that make you happy to be alive?

Do you wanna die happy?

Or do you wanna die wondering? Wishing? Hoping? Regretting?

I bet I know what you’ll say…

Go. Be awesome.

Rita

PS You may regret the thing you did. But it will force you to confront that part of yourself that you’ve never looked at before. It’ll shine a light in a corner of who you are where there’s never been light before. So, before you try and shake shake shake that memory like you would an etch-a-sketch, just remember, you can choose to learn from the experience, or you can stick your head in the sand. Either way…it already happened.

 

Doubt is Not Awesome, But YOU Are.

Awesome is a choice

Ever have one of those days, where you’re doubting everything that you do? Any decision you make, you think might have been the wrong one?

That no matter what you do, it’ll never be the right thing?  That no matter what you say, it’ll never be the right thing to say?

To be honest, I’d be surprised if you weren’t nodding in agreement or recognition of what I’m saying so far.

The beautiful thing about being a human being is that no matter what colour or race we are, doubt is something we have in common. It’s a Universal truth among us. We doubt the people in our lives. We doubt experiences. We doubt words. We doubt actions. And most importantly, we doubt ourselves.

You know what’s really great about doubt? It only takes mere seconds to be done with it.

Doubt means you’re trying something new and you don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Doubt means you’re afraid that you’re going to eff things up. And you might. But it doesn’t matter, because you had the courage to give it a shot.

Feel free to feel doubt. There isn’t a cure for doubt. There’s simply doubt. And on the flip side of doubt is not doubt. I’m not sure what it is. Confidence? Surety? Certainty?

Maybe being confident, sure and certain about everything you do in life, makes it just a little bit less challenging? Or exciting? Maybe when you’re actually feeling doubt, it just brings you one step closer to the life you want to have.

It could be anything. From going bungy jumping naked (which a friend of mine just did yesterday!) to taking a trip you’ve only dreamed of…or maybe the thing you doubt is whether you have what it takes to be in a relationship with another human being.

Doubt just means you’re literally, one thought away from being awesome.

Maybe it’s true what they say? Maybe certainty is a ridiculous notion? Maybe if you already know how something is going to turn out, unless it’s a souffle, it’s not as mind blowing when you do it.

Go. Be. Awesome.

Rita

Be Awesome

How?

How do you be awesome?

You just be it.

There’s no secret formula. There’s no rule book. There’s not even a website or a fan page.

You just be awesome.

Here’s the thing that we don’t all get.

Being awesome is a choice. It’s about being kind and considerate and compassionate, and generous (with your time, love etc.). Being awesome is about putting good things into the world, because good things bring good things.

Being awesome is about being bold, and daring and courageous and kick a**.

Being awesome is about doing things others would only think about doing, doing what you say you’re going to do, even when you don’t feel like it.

Being awesome is easy.

my daily routineAll you have to do is get out of bed.

Smile at a few strangers.

Be nice to the person who makes your coffee/tea in the morning.

Pay a compliment to someone, and mean it.

Ask someone for a hug. Just because.

Pay attention to the little things in life that bring you joy. Life is made up of a whole lot of little things. If we find joy in those, we can’t help but enjoy the hell out of life.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned thus far, is that if you love life, life will love you back.

No question.

Being awesome is easy.

Just be.

Rita xo

go.be.awesome

 

There Is Nothing Awesome About…

270623_10152117398280335_318483139_n

Do you have relationships in your life where you leave feeling really great about yourself? You do, don’t you? Aren’t all relationships supposed to be like that? You get together and you feel really great about yourself, and each other.  You lift each other up.  And cheer each other on. You warm each other’s souls. You nourish each other. You know who each other is.

It doesn’t matter if you know their favorite colour, or where they were born, although there’s magic in that too. I’m talking about the real “know you”. They know who you are in the world. What you stand for. What matters to you. What makes you tick. What moves you, what touches you. How you’re inspired. They know all that. You’d think that it would be easy to know who someone is. Wouldn’t you?  People are generally easy to know.

But what do you do when you find someone who matters to you, but doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get what matters to you. Who you really are. That you’re not generous to make yourself look better. You’re generous because you want people to have a great life. There’s something about that. It’s really important to know that you’re appreciated for who you are. That who you are is why they love you. Why they want to be in your life. They want to be in your life because of how awesome you are.

There’s nothing sexy about keeping people in your life who don’t get you. Who don’t appreciate who you are. I know we all have them. We all have people in our lives who have been there for years and you have a lot of history, but they don’t always want to know who you’ve evolved into, if it doesn’t fit who they want you to be.  We’ve all had some form or another of that experience haven’t we?

Here’s the thing. We start to tolerate things that actually don’t work. The things that make us feel so much less than awesome. We start to step over things that hurt us, and we start to feel resentful. Resentment is a bitter pill. Resentment can literally, kill us. It hurts our hearts. It damages our souls. It makes our relationships harder. Getting to a place of realizing that the things that aren’t working are the things you’re tolerating. All the things that makes you awesome, suddenly start to slip away. Suddenly, the things that people admire most about you, or the things that inspire others, about you, are the things that start to disappear.  We start to try and prove who we are, which just begets more resentment.  And if we let that happen, in our primary relationships, we start to lose ourselves. It becomes increasingly more difficult to remember the things that matter, because all of our energy goes into proving something that should be obvious.

Do you know what I’m trying to say? We stay in relationships with people who don’t get who we are.

Which is worse than someone telling you they didn’t get you something for Christmas because they didn’t think of it.

It’s worse than swallowing a bunch of pills hoping someone else will die from it.  It’s too important.

Stop making it okay. Stop stepping over those things. Stop it. Stop taking the pills.

By stopping all of that, you can stop resentment in it’s tracks. Yes. It might be disappointing. It might also, make you really sad. You may even end up heart broken, but at the end of the day, heartbreak brought on by standing for who you are is a lot easier to deal with than heartbreak brought on by someone who will never appreciate what you contribute to the world.

Y’know?

xo

Rita

Do You Know What Makes You Awesome?

Ever wonder what it is that makes you awesome?

When someone says “Hey..you’re awesome!” Do you ever wonder how they know that?  How they could possibly know that you’re awesome, without really knowing you?

Or maybe you’ve done something nice for someone, and how they thank you is by telling you that they think you’re awesome.

who's awesome

Some might say that the word is overused so has lost it’s power. I say it isn’t used nearly enough! If everyone in the world knew they were awesome, I’d tell you the word was now being overused. Until then…

It isn’t like there’s a guide book where you can look under the tab that says “when someone thinks you’re awesome” to tell you why you are. So you can be crystal clear about it.

It’s tough for us to believe someone when they say something like that to us. Awesome? You think I’m awesome? Me? Really?

Well let me tell you a little bit about what makes you awesome.

1.  It’s your willingness to thank someone, even if you don’t believe them, when they say something nice about you, to you.

2.  When you hear about a challenge, one that makes you a little bit nauseous, you do it even though you’re scared. Because that’s who you are. You’re all about jumping outside of your comfort zone. You may crawl back to it every now and again, ’cause life sure can be a little bit scary at times, but you’ll always venture back out to take on something new.

3.  You are always willing to learn something new, about yourself, or the world you live in. You’re curious, you ask questions and you’re willing to look. Even if sometimes, it’s uncomfortable.

4.  You are constantly doing what you said you’d do. Even if you just said it to yourself.  You keep promises whenever possible. You will do your best to never let anyone down, and if that does happen, you’ll be sure to be responsible for it. You call when you say you will. You show up when you say you will. You go when you say you will, even if you don’t want to.

5.  You are willing to look foolish/stupid/crazy. You are so willing to try new things, even things you know you can’t do, and are willing to risk looking foolish. It takes a special kind of person to be okay with not looking good.  Whether it be by falling in love (again), or quitting your job and not knowing what you’ll do next, or taking on a challenge that you are pretty sure you can’t finish. The glory isn’t in the finishing. It’s in the willingness to try.

6.  You have a desire to make a difference in the world, in your life, and/or in the lives of the people in your life.

7.  You know that the best way to have your life rock, is by making yourself a priority, your first priority. Taking care of yourself, means you have more room to take care of others, which is the path to having your relationships work. It doesn’t matter that you think it’s selfish. It kind of is.  It’s the best kind of selfish there is. When YOU start to put yourself first, others will follow in your footsteps. It’s a win/win.

8.  Believing in the dreams of others, cheering them on, making sure they know they are not alone, and that they CAN do anything, is a super power of the awesome.

9.  Love. Love is another super power of the awesome.

10. You know that being awesome, simply means that those around you, those you come into contact with, they get to own their awesome too.

No then…go forth and be awesome.

Rita xo

If Not You…Then Who?

Sometimes, we can’t plan it…

Not that long ago, a young teenage girl not far from where I am, killed herself. She’d been bullied in school for quite some time, and she couldn’t take it anymore. We forget, that at that age, our friends, schoolmates, and now, social media, are our whole life. If we don’t have the acceptance of that triad, we have nothing. You might even say, she was bullied to death. I wept when I heard about it, and I watched what happened when a friend of hers created a page on Facebook so friends and family could grieve together, by posting photos and loving messages in her memory. Instead, what happened was, people continued to bully her. Even in death, the comments being made on that page, and on the photos were disturbing. I couldn’t read them. I couldn’t bring myself to know that this poor girl, even after she’d died, still had to undergo the criticism and scrutiny from people who hadn’t actually taken the time to get to know her. To make themselves feel better, they needed to make sure she felt bad about herself.

I shake my head as I write this. That this is what it’s come to. Being grateful to not be in highschool now. I want to cry when I think about my nephews in a few years, entering the schools when this is what is going on. I want to weep for them and for the terrible things that other kids may say to them. I’m not saying I was immune to it. I had some experiences with being bullied, and being mocked, and being made to cry. But never, EVER did I consider killing myself over it. That wasn’t what life was about back then.

It was just easier.

This past weekend, I shared about ownyourawesome while in a course, and doubled over in tears when I talked about the message I want to share with the world, and the world in which I am sharing it into. It doesn’t line up.

How can I possibly tell people that they are awesome and all the reasons why, when kids are literally killing themselves. How can I possibly put out a book telling people how to be awesome, when this is the world we live in? How can I do it? How can I risk being heartbroken every single time someone kills themselves because they couldn’t see how brilliant they really are, or because someone told them they aren’t? The death of the teenage girl, left me heartbroken. But I couldn’t tell anyone that I’d taken it so personally because I didn’t know her. It sounded crazy, in my own head.

See, that’s the thing about not saying something out loud. It makes us sound crazy. Where, once I said it out loud, I could then start to think about something else.

Like..maybe I COULD take the message global.

But I couldn’t see it until I said it out loud. Until I shed the tears and said the words. That I felt I had failed this young girl, and all those who may come after her. For not getting the message out fast enough.  I cried until all I could say was “Who am I to tell anyone anything about anything…”

And the woman who was leading the course, said to me…“Rita. If not you…then who?”

That’s all I needed to hear. My heart is going to break every single time something like this happens. My life is going to alter every single time I hear another story of another person (child or adult) being bullied or taunted for being different, or for being themselves. My conversations are going to get deeper. More fulfilling. My message is going to get out there.

Why? Because THAT is what I said matters to me.

So if there’s something that you want to do that will ultimately change the world you live in…do it. Let’s do it together. Let’s take on a world that isn’t set up for awesome, and plant a flag.

Why? Because we said it mattered.

Anything other than that is just a bunch of background noise.

go be awesome.

Rita

No Really. You ARE Awesome

Ever notice, when someone pays you a compliment, you brush it off and say something like “Well I was going to do it anyway…” Or “I was going that way anyway..” Or even…”Well you’d do the same for me.”  Why is that?  Why do you think we can’t just muster up a simple thank you when someone says something to us that resembles a compliment?

The other day, my neighbour and I had some work done on our shared driveway. A new garden bed with some beautiful new plants, and we had the hedge trimmed. The fella who did all the work, he called me at work a bit later in the day and said that he’d blown all the leaves off my front lawn, and moved a few plants around to better locations and cleaned up a few other things (which was over and above what we were paying him to do). To which, of course, I replied with a wholehearted “Wow, THANK YOU!” to which he responded by saying…”I had the blower out anyway.”

Do you know that when you say something like that in response to a person showing you gratitude, it not only takes away from the great thing you did, but it also doesn’t give you the opportunity to be awesome (even if it means you being uncomfortable for a minute) and also, after doing all these great things for me, completely unsolicited, and then saying “I had the blower out anyway.” leaves me with the experience that I’m actually not that important and you would’ve done it for anyone.

See where I’m going with this?  When you do something for someone, you do it because you are a kind human being and you want to do something nice for someone. When that someone you did the nice thing for, wants to thank you. Please do not take that opportunity away from them. It isn’t about buttering you up, and it isn’t about making sure that you stay interested (if it happens to be someone you’re dating), and it isn’t for any other reason but to express gratitude.

Some might say the ability to express gratitude is an important characteristic.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that accepting gratitude is actually a bigger deal.

So often, we are quick to brush off all the awesome that others see in us.

Can we not do that?

People of the world, are aching to contribute to each other. Some might contribute by doing something nice, others may contribute by expressing gratitude in regards to who you are for them, and how much they appreciate you.

Let them. Believe me, it’s as much for them as it is for you.

You both get to walk away feeling pretty damn awesome.

Okay?

Can we start today?

Great.

Thanks.

Rita xo

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