Last Sunday, I had a date. I’d been talking to this guy for over a week via email and text and on the phone. In theory, this was the guy. Sunday morning, I woke up and I was paralyzed by fear and anxiety. What if he doesn’t like me? Ridiculous right? But true. Why is this significant? Because if I were truly owning my awesome, it wouldn’t matter. As long as I went into the date being awesome, it wouldn’t matter if he liked me or not. I was still awesome.
It was such a revelation for me. I got ready for the date, showed up for it completely being awesome, spent 3 hours with him, and it turns out he’s not the guy. But you know, I never doubted my awesome even for a minute.
So often we think we have to have it all together, we have to have it all figured out, we couldn’t possibly share what’s going on for us if it’s not all neatly tied up in a bow. So, we struggle, and suffer in silence and alone, when all we really need to do is pick up the phone and get it all out. Let me let you in on a little secret, and one I had to learn the hard way: We never have it all figured out. We never have it all together. And we especially don’t know how it’s all going to turn out. So just out yourself when you’re struggling through something. Life is not worth the suffering.
This date I was on last weekend, one of the things he said to me was “You can’t sell awesome!” very adamantly, and very righteously. He didn’t stop long enough for me to share with him the premise and context and mission of what I’m creating here, but he was simply convinced that you can’t sell awesome. The great thing is I am not trying to sell it. My intention is to become a living, breathing example of what is possible in the whole world of awesome which then gives others the courage to be that as well.
Please don’t get me wrong. I am awesome, because I say so. And I don’t always say so. I have to remind myself, and consider it a practice just as often as not. It isn’t a natural state. But it’s a choice. I don’t often wake up happy, although after 7 hours solid sleep, sometimes I actually do, and then I choose. How do I want this day to go? Do I look on the bright side of everything? Or do I choose something else?
Last night, the story broke about Lance Armstrong being stripped of all of his Tour de France titles and banned for life from a sport that he brought to the surface. Why? Because the USADA believes he was doping during his 9 different wins. After years of testing, there is no basis for the allegations, however, he’s done. He is stepping away from the “fight” because of the toll it’s taken on his family and himself. The man has changed the face of cancer, and he’s made a gigantic difference in the world, yet he can’t win this one. So, he’s “giving up the fight”. Does it mean he is guilty? Hell no. What I see is Lance Armstrong owning his awesome. It doesn’t matter if we agree or disagree. The bottom line is he’s awesome, not because you say so, but because he does.
I mention it only because it’s a great example of what it means to be that. To stand in that, even if the rest of the world doesn’t agree.
Owning your awesome takes something. It means stepping outside your comfort zone. It means letting yourself look bad, and flailing and being responsible for the flailing, it means allowing yourself to be human and awesome all at the same time.
Here’s another perfect example of a modern day fairy tale where it took a stern talking to and a talisman to get the damsel back into her own awesome A Deva Tale by Sandi Amorim.
How have you been hiding out from your own awesome? Care to out yourself here?
go be awesome